If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Randomize
