she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
