What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
