We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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