'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
