so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
