Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
