Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
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