8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Randomize
