I want to walk on stilts...naked
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize