sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
