why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Randomize
