you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
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