wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
