I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
