Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
