Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
