I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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