She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
