I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Randomize
