either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
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