I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
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