Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
