At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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