end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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