Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Randomize