it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
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