Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
porn star boner night. come get it.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
