There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
