You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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