I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
