he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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