So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
