i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize