So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Randomize
