after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize