just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I came so hard my ears popped.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
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