I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
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