Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
soo... how was my night?
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
