its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
