Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
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