my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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