Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize