is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Randomize
