Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
