No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize