He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
