I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
