turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
