Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
