mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
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