There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
