He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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