you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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