i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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