i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
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