I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
