I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
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